Cedar Aroma
by Dumpfmoebel
Summary: Their afterglow is heavy with the fragrance of cedar wood. Rated M for sex, has a plot this time.


It's not that Haruka is particularly angry, but he isn't indifferent to it either. It's a mixture of two kinds of worry, one about Makoto, that he is doing alright and not suffering from any problem he is keeping to himself, and one about Haruka's own behavior, that he hasn't said or done anything to make him think he shouldn't walk home with him anymore.

He doesn't know whether he should ask or not; Makoto doesn't seem very sad and his smiles are genuine, but something is different. He looks… tired, or rather exhausted, like during an exam period, but school has finally started to become relaxing again, and he is absent-minded too. Normally he can read Haruka's thoughts with ease, but during the last few days he has been repeatedly caught not even listening to his spoken words, as if he was deep in thought. Haruka can't tell for sure if it's daydreaming or contemplating heavy weights he won't let anyone take off him.

Either way, his friends have only noticed that Makoto walks into a different direction after school, leaving only the mysterious explanation that he has to run some errands. And yet they are worried more openly than Haruka, making up theories that range from "Mako-chan's siblings are sick and he's taking care of them!" (not true – they looked just as energetic as ever when Haruka came over last Wednesday) to "maybe Makoto-senpai has been pulled into yakuza affairs…!" (this one is just ridiculous).

It's been going on for two weeks now, and while it's hard to admit, walking home without Makoto feels fairly boring and empty. No one accompanies Haruka through the door anymore, just so they can share another kiss before it's time to say goodbye for the day, and no one cautiously strokes his fingers, ready to pull his hand away if they were to encounter someone. They spend less afternoons together, too, only nights, and while those are nice and enjoyable, they are also short, most of the time slept away.

Today's art lesson is nearing its end and the first students, those who are either slow or lazy, are already starting to tidy up their workplaces. The current assignment is to create a charcoal sketch of an animal; Haruka is going for a mackerel, fleshing out the shading of its vertical fin. Makoto sits next to him, working on what seems to be a cat. Its head is too big and its face resembles a child's self portrait more than a feline's features, and its paws are little round stubs. For some it would be embarrassing to look at, but Haruka knows that his boyfriend seriously works on these pictures and simply lacks the talent, and also the deformed cat appears to be kind of cute.

"Alright, this is it for today. Remember that next Tuesday is the last lesson before you have to turn it in, so if you think you won't be able to finish it next week, you can take it home", the teacher announces.

When they are standing in the bathroom at the beginning of lunch break, cleaning the black smudges off their fingers, Haruka watches the dirty water travel down the drain. Then he speaks.

"Makoto."

"Hm?"

"Keeping your problems to yourself is stupid."

Makoto turns off the faucet and covers his hand in liquid soap. "What?"

Haruka makes sure that the stalls behind them are unoccupied before continuing. "We haven't walked home from school together in two weeks. It's stupid."

"That… has nothing to do with any problems."

"Then tell me why."

The taller boy's head droops slightly, but he smiles. "I can't. Not yet, at least."

"Why?"

"You'll know when I tell you, I can't yet."

"Makoto."

"Don't worry about me, okay?"

Haruka doesn't say any more, but he thinks _stupid_, knowing that Makoto will get it.

"Look, Haru. Everything's alright, I'm just getting something done after school and I can't tell you about it yet. It's nothing bad and it won't be for long."

"If it's nothing bad, why don't you tell me then?"

"Haru, I don't want to argue about this. You'll understand it later."

"I want to know now."

A loud sigh escapes Makoto as he rinses his skin.

"Geez… Alright, I'll tell you. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I don't want you to worry about me, so…" His smile grows wider, Haruka can see it in the mirror before he turns towards him.

"I've been working part time to pay a weekend trip I have planned for us."

The door opens and a third-year comes in, eyeing the two boys semi-curiously before positioning himself in front of an urinal.

Makoto laughs awkwardly. "Come on, let's go to the roof and catch up with the others", he murmurs, and adds: "We can talk on our way there."

"I have some savings myself, you know", Haruka informs his boyfriend while they climb the stairs.

"No, save them up. When I had the idea, I already decided that I want to pay this for the two of us. It's not much either, the hotel I want to book is rather small and it's all out of town, a very rural area about half an hour from here if you take the train. I just couldn't get a well-paying part-time job that didn't clash with school, so I'm not earning much. I almost have it all together, though, I only need another week. I thought about telling you on Thursday, since I'm planning on us leaving after Friday classes and then returning on Sunday. The hotel owner is very nice, it isn't that well-booked but he said he'll try to keep a room empty for us. Although he thinks I'm coming with a girl…" Makoto scratches the back of his head. "Anyway, there's supposed to be a waterfall relatively close to it, so we can walk there, and on Saturday evening the closest village holds a small festival. It's nothing big, but I guess we can have a decent…"

"It sounds great", Haruka interrupts him, not wanting to hear Makoto play his own hard work down. It's typical for him to carry everything on his own back and still feel like he hasn't done enough yet. Despite all the encouragements he receives, he is never quite satisfied with himself and Haruka has given up trying to force him into comfort – he's sure it will change over the years, that he will gradually be able to see how selfless he actually is. For now, simply telling him that his efforts are appreciated has to be enough. "So we're leaving on Friday?"

"Yes. Just pack clothes, your toothbrush and other basic things." Makoto's expression is warm and tender. "I will take care of everything else."

* * *

"Onii-chan, have fuuuun!", Ren and Ran squeal while waving quickly. Haruka is standing by the front gate, dressed in something comfortable and a heavy-looking sports bag thrown over his shoulder. He's looking good, somehow even better than during school today, but maybe that's just Makoto's perception. He didn't get a wink of sleep last night after all, too full of bubbly excitement. "I will!", he shouts back to his siblings, waiting until they've closed the door before he turns to his boyfriend and gives him a quick peck on the forehead. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." Haruka adjusts the strap on his shoulder. Makoto watches his arm tense and relax, muscles visibly moving beneath his skin. "Let's go."

The journey to the train station lasts a while, a friendly hush extending between the two boys while they walk. It's a sunny day, warm and bright, and birds and crickets are singing the refreshing duet of an early summer afternoon.

Makoto thinks of the hotel, a set of wooden two-story-houses with a small courtyard, and the lush forest neighboring it. When he visited it one month ago to check its quality – while he doesn't need it to be a big and expensive place, he doesn't want to make Haruka sleep in a dirty low-standard room – he felt himself strangely drawn torwards it, a heavy desire to explore the paths between mossy earth and thick broadleaf trees. He knows that Haruka will be more attracted to the purling stream that sneaks out of the woods and makes its way into the village. But either way he feels himself getting slowly carried away into a dreamy imagination of what's to come, almost forgetting that it's going to be reality in not even hours.

They easily find seats inside the train – not many people travel in this direction, and the compartment is empty, except for an old woman murmuring to her small poodle which is sitting inside a carrier on the neighboring chair. Her back is facing them, though, and so Makoto finds himself stealing secret, quiet kisses from Haruka from time to time. It quickly turns into mutual theft. Just like the rays of sunlight refracted by the glass windows, his body warms him up. The woman turns around once, but during that moment they are just looking at the scenery that flies by.

After half an hour, they reach their stop and hop out. Still good weather, although the air smells a bit moist. Haruka blinks a few time before he sneezes. "'t's bright", he explains when Makoto chuckles at the cute sound.

"The hotel isn't that far away from here, ten minutes maybe. I'm just scared I won't find it again… It's not exactly big."

It turns out his fear is unjustified when its walls enter his field of sight, turned grey by the elements. Yet they carry a rich scent of cedar. Just like last time, the owner is sitting in the courtyard, drinking tea and listening to enka on an old radio. Upon seeing the two boys, his eyes light up with recognition, and Makoto is relieved that he remembers him.

"Ah. You're the one who wanted to reserve a room, right?" He gets up from his wooden stool. "There are only two guests living here at the moment, so you have plenty of rooms to choose from." The man's gaze rests on Haruka. "This boy is staying with you?"

"Uhm, yes."

"Ah, I'm sorry then. It doesn't matter now, but I was keeping an eye on a room with a double bed for you. Shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, of course I have some with two separate beds as well. If you will follow me, then…"

Makoto gulps heavily. "No, we… we would prefer a double bed. I'm sorry if that is an… inconvenience…" He bows, too embarrassed to look at the owner's face. Haruka doesn't follow him.

There are a few seconds of silence before the man speaks again. "No need to apologize, kid. A double bed it is, then. " When Makoto straightens his body again, he sees his slight smile.

They are led up the stairs in front of the building next to the forest, into the room at the far end. It's just like the one Makoto looked at during his first visit: A bed with white sheets and a firm mattress, a small, enclosed space that contains a toilet and a water hose, a hat rack, an electric fan and two night stands. Mosquito nets cover the window that offers a view right into the forest, and a fresh breeze is blown inside. It makes Makoto feel at ease. "Thank you very much", he politely says to the owner. "Where should I go to pay for the room?"

"Just do it here. This is such a small place, out here in the nature, things like reception desks are not relevant."

Makoto hands the man the necessary amount of money for two nights behind this door, and he nods after quickly counting it. "Thank you. The bath is in the opposite building, since you are sleeping here, it's free to use. If you need anything, don't hesitate to say so. You can find me in the yard, or simply knock the door above the bath. Make yourselves at home. I will just go and fetch the key."

This time, both boys thank him with a short bow before he walks out the door. When he gives them the key, it's not as heavy in Makoto's hands as he thought it would be.

* * *

The nearby village isn't big, but it's not as small as Makoto initially thought it was. There's a convenience store and a good amount of restaurants. The only downside is the distance to the hotel, but walking along a mostly empty path, holding Haruka's hand while the sky slowly gains an orange tint, makes up for the time needed to get onto paved streets.

"I'm sorry, this isn't very fancy", Makoto apologizes while loading spoonfuls of rice into his bowl. "But it's full, so I thought it might be good, and the food looks nice."

Haruka seems so indifferent he doesn't even shrug. "As long as they have mackerel, I don't care." And they do.

The sun is beginning to set, the horizon already glowing in a soft pink. They have spent the entire late afternoon exploring the small town, occasionally lending someone a hand in setting up their festival booth for tomorrow and buying snacks for breakfast at the konbini.

Makoto dislikes the lack of a conversation between them now, the unfamiliarity of this place filling him with a strange loneliness, but he doesn't want to disrespect Haruka's preference of eating in silence. This is their trip, after all, a gift for his boyfriend in exchange for his feelings and quiet support, and he does not intend to ruin his intent by acting selfishly. There is only so much love he can give to Haruka to make it up to him, and to Makoto, it can never be enough. Just watching him munch on his dinner in thought makes his chest warm up, so much he forgets all about his own portion. It's small, mundane actions like these that awaken his apprecation for all the years they've spent together, the platonic ones, too.

"Makoto."

"Hmm?"

"Eat."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I was just…" _Immersed in looking at you_? What a creepy thing to say. Makoto laughs lowly and starts working on his meal. "I was spacing out."

"Me too", Haruka answers. "Wanna swim."

"Let's take a bath when we get back, then."

"…I still don't understand."

"What?"

"Why you said sorry."

Makoto nibbles on his chopsticks while remembering. "You mean when I told the hotel owner we want a double bed?"

Haruka nods.

"It's because… you know, we're… an odd couple. I don't think a lot of people at home would accept it, and this place is much smaller. I thought he might not want boys like us sleeping at his hotel."

"Then he should have been sorry, not you."

"Well, Haru… I guess you are right… but some people just have the views they have. Especially if they have been living with them for many years."

Haruka only stares at him while chewing, but Makoto can read the thoughts that are written all over his face. _You're always being too nice to people who aren't willing to be nice to you as well._ Of course, he wouldn't say that out loud.

"I just think it's always important to be kind!"

_As expected from you_, Haruka replies with a small smile. Thousands of butterflies seem to be fluttering around in Makoto's chest.

They finish their dinner at a leisurely pace and set out on the way home again, the sandy trail returning under their soles. The sky is a rich red now, with purplish stripes at the edges of the few clouds traveling over the vast firmament. Makoto is actually starting to crave a bath as well. The day wasn't too exhausting but the fresh air and the repetitive chirping of insects is making him sleepy.

"Hey, Haru", he mumbles, "do you like it here?"

"Yeah. It's nice."

A more elaborate answer can't be expected from Haruka, so Makoto leans over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad."

As soon as they reach the hotel, they change into basic yukata and head into the bath. A locker in the dressing room is occupied, so for the first time in a long while, Makoto wishes Haruka would keep his jammers on – getting excited with another man in the bath would be unfortunate. He undresses quickly, the steam starting to make the fabric cling to his skin. Inhaling the hot air already relaxes his muscles.

Except for the other hotel guest who seems to be in his thirties, they are alone, but the weird looks they are getting from just this one person are enough to stir a twinge of discomfort in Makoto. Sliding into the water, he tries to reassure himself it's just because Haruka is trying to crawl through the flat basin. "I'm sorry", he tells the other man as he sits down facing him, "he really loves swimming", and he feels a bit like a father apologizing for the behavior of his little son, or rather like an embarrassed pet owner.

The customer looks distrustful beneath the polite exterior he's trying to maintain. "It's not a problem. You guys are swimmers? On a trip with the team, eh?" He laughs emptily, and Makoto is starting to feel intimidated by his straightforward way of talking.

"Ah, no, we're just going on a weekend trip… Taking a break from school since the exams are over, getting away from the hectic environment."

With a splash, Haruka resurfaces next to Makoto and gasps for air. He only ever looks this content when he's wet from head to toe.

"Haha, that sounds like the reason my wife and me are staying here. It's sad that young guys like you already have to book a hotel to relieve some stress… and without some company, even!" The man winks as if he just shared an inside joke. "I mean beautiful girls, of course", he adds after a few silent seconds to make sure it came across.

Makoto wants to fake amusement as well, wants to stop the suspicion in this adult's eyes from drilling into him, but Haruka is faster than him, and a special trait of him is that he never wears a mask.

"We don't need girls", he retorts coldly. Makoto is sure that he sees right through the man's farce. "We are fine together."

"…Ah, doesn't that sound like an amazing friendship. I thought today's youth doesn't value a good, friendly bond between two men anymore…" It's an obvious attempt to grasp the last straw of ambiguity, and Makoto knows that there is no possiblity Haruka will let him reach it.

"We're not friends. We're together." Then he's gone again, submerging his head as if he wanted to drown, except he looks like a bit like a policeman who has just arrested a mass murderer.

* * *

"No, of course I saw the look on his face, I knew he didn't like us being there to begin with, but you made him uncomfortable…! He actually left the bath because of us…"

"Not my fault." Haruka is sprawled out on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Makoto turns his hairdryer off, pulls the plug out of the wall and joins him, the mattress sinking in under his weight despite its rather hard filling.

"I get what you're saying… I mean, it's his fault that he has views like this. But you have to consider he was probably brought up with them, and it's something to keep in mind."

"I don't care. I didn't want him in the water anyway." The boy closes his eyes. "He doesn't respect you or me, so I don't care."

The thing is that Makoto understands how right Haruka is. Deep down, the pain of seeing the man's disgusted expression is almost unbearable, it's unfair. It hurt Haruka as well, he should've stood up for both of them, should've confronted him, but in the end, he couldn't.

Everything Makoto wants to say gets stuck in his throat. Eventually his boyfriend has fallen asleep, and he carefully covers him with his blanket. He can hear the other customer and his wife talk in the room next to them, although the actual words are just unclear enough to not understand. She sounds mocking, and they both laugh for a while before a different tone creeps into their voices.

Half an hour later, and Makoto is still awake in the suddenly large, dark room, they are having sex.

For once, Haruka is snoozing so deeply, breathing quietly, that he doesn't dare embracing him, even though he wants to hold him, kiss every inch of his body and get shielded from the cruel reality that is the unaccepting world. There's just something icy about knowing that someone has been talking about them negatively for over an hour, and they aren't the only ones. While Iwatobi High School has a good number of very friendly and accepting students (probably because it all is a little chaotic there – no one really sees themselves as an average person), while their friends are sitting in the same boat, while Makoto's parents would support him no matter what… it's only a small percentage of the world or even just their hometown. Watching Haruka's peaceful face as the sounds in the other room come to a halt, Makoto shudders when he imagines him being harrassed on the streets, bullied, unable to find work, beaten up. A bruised face and bleeding lips, ribs broken by mercilessly kicking feet, the pictures get worse and worse. He turns around, shaking quite badly; there's hissing outside, probably fighting cats, and he wishes that they had ended the day on better terms, not arguing about something they actually agree on.

So the arms suddenly sneaking around his waist are a surprise. The warm breath on the back of his neck is an unforeseen comfort, the words muttered into his hair an abrupt lullaby.

"Sleep, Makoto."

Makoto drifts away.

* * *

When they step out into the yard next morning, arms loaded with still wrapped cheap bread, the hotel owner is not alone. As soon as Makoto gets off the stairs, the big, brown dog at his feet rises up from its lazy sleeping position and trots over, tail happily wagging when it tries to sniff his breakfast without jumping up on him.

"Sorry, sorry!", the man who has the radio running again shouts. "Don't worry, he has been brought up with a small kid. Will let you pull his ears or step on his paw without a growl. Come here, Kuma-kun, that food is not for you."

The dog indeed looks a bit like a bear with his thick, fluffy coat and peculiar shape of ears. Haruka stares at him, probably slightly enamored, and after putting down his edible luggage on one of the stone tables, he crouches down to pet the animal's head.

"He's not usually running around like that", the owner apologizes again, "he has a little shed behind the bath where he can stay in when there are guests who are scared of dogs – like the lady in the room next to you. But even though he's such a good-hearted fellow, when he gets lonely, he can scratch his way through a wooden wall… I've been trying to fix the hole all morning until I got injured, and now I am keeping him here until the other customers come back this evening."

Makoto notices the bandage on his left thumb, and the urge to help rises inside him. Looking for approval, he gazes at Haruka, who makes a small head movement to say _do whatever you like_.

"Maybe I could work on the shed?", he offers. "I like fixing things, and it would be unfair to have someone with an injured finger do it."

The man seems surprised. Then a wide smile blossoms on his face. "Ah, thank you, thank you; but it's only a matter of nailing a few new boards in."

"Well, that's something that's done quickly, I would be finished with it in less than half an hour. Don't worry, I don't expect anything in return!"

"That is absolutely out of the question. I will let you fix it, but please allow me to make some proper breakfast for you. Young men your age need good nourishment, especially in the morning!"

"N-no, that's really not necessary…", Makoto protests, but the owner will have none of it, and eventually, he resigns. "Alright. Thank you very much, sir! I will try to work thoroughly!"

"Haha. Please, 'Ueno-san' is enough. May I know your names as well? I think you have told me yours before, but sadly, my memory is not the best anymore…"

"Don't worry, it has been a while since I introduced myself. My name is Makoto Tachibana, and my…" He hesitates for a split second. "…my boyfriend is called Haruka Nanase." Haruka is so preoccupied with giving Kuma-kun a tummy rub that assuming he has heard just one word from the conversation would be naïve.

"Ah, alright, alright. Well then, Tachibana-kun, let me show you the shed, my toolbox is still there. Feel free to use all you need."

Ueno leads the boys behind the house, where a small, wooden building – definitely bigger than a normal tool shed – waits for them, a gaping hole in the lower left corner. The destroyed boards have already been removed and are now resting next to a set of intact planks. Inside, Makoto spots a big dog bed, a few plushies in a rather bad state (Kuma-kun yawns, exposing a sharp set of teeth, and it's no surprise) and two bowls. Even though there's a window, he can imagine how lonely an animal would feel when locked inside there.

"I will go and prepare your meal", Ueno announces. "Again, thank you! I will call you when it is done."

While Makoto fixes the shed wall, Haruka takes care of Kuma-kun so he doesn't get in the way or runs off. The dog doesn't seem too inhibited torwards strangers, and from time to time, when Makoto watches them briefly while reaching for a new board, he becomes the witness of some truly heartwarming scene.

He has experience with working manually, and listening to Haruka's tries of making Kuma-kun obey his commands only adds to the enjoyment of feeling a nail pierce the wood with every beat of the hammer, so he's done with it even sooner than he expected and Ueno hasn't shown up again.

"I'm finished", he declares and walks over to his boyfriend who is currently getting his face kissed by a watery dog snout. "Hey", Haruka tells Kuma-kun, patting his back, "I already have someone. Then again…" His eyes dart up at Makoto. "Kuma-kun is just like you. Only fluffier. Maybe I'll leave you for him."

"That's mean, Haru!" Makoto sits down next to him, cringing when he feels the dew-wet grass moisten his trousers.

"Hey, hey, Kuma-kun. Makoto is jealous. Give him a big kiss, okay?"

Now that's something their new canine friend doesn't hesitate to understand. Within seconds, his warm tongue is all over his face, his breath smells and he's so heavy he throws Makoto over, smothering him with slobbery affection.

"That's enough", Haruka orders, and Makoto is free again, wipes his face with the hem of his shirt. However, he doesn't have much time to catch a breath.

"My turn."

Even though Haruka is technically heavier than the dog, it's more comfortable when he rests on top of his body before bringing their lips together. Still, Makoto embraces him and they roll onto their sides, getting grass in their hair, and when they sit up again, the side of Haruka's t-shirt is covered in green stains. It fits his flushed cheeks well.

* * *

"It's delicious!"

The meal Ueno made doesn't have any outstanding taste, but it was certainly prepared with care and Makoto just now realizes how hungry he was, so it's definitely praiseworthy. The man laughs heartily, as if he had just been told an amazing joke.

"If you think this is delicious, you should taste my wife's cooking! I miss it every day, ever since she has gone to the hospital… Oh, no, no need to look worried. She's not sick, although her health is quite fragile, just like her sister's. She's expecting, and I don't want to risk any complications by having her stay out here in the middle of nowhere. She's in good care."

Makoto hurriedly swallows. "Woah! Congratulations, Ueno-san!"

"Why, thank you! It is going to be our first child, and sometimes I can't believe that after all these years we have been finally blessed with one… I can't visit her often, but thankfully, I have Kuma-kun here with me." A loud sneeze comes from beneath Haruka's table. "See, he understood me! Oh, Nanase-kun, if he's begging for food, I'm sorry. Please don't give him anything spicy. He was originally my sister-in-law's, you know, and her daughter spoiled him a lot. My wife and I take care of him now because they had to move to the city, and Kuma-kun likes being outside and the fresh air."

"So… does that mean, this hotel is owned by your wife?", Makoto asks, not knowing why he is surprised.

"Yes, that's true! I'm just temporarily running it. She's a wonderful and kind woman, I'm sure that without her, I would have sent you away yesterday. She taught me a lot about kindness and acceptance."

Ueno's expression has Makoto wondering if he will say similar things about Haruka when they are adults, and if he will look the same when talking about him, eyes full of deep love. At least he is unable to imagine his life without this boy, and Ueno must have noticed his sudden thoughtfulness, because he grins just like any man in his forties admiring the clumsy romance of high school students.

"In fact, when we were about your age, we would go to unknown places as well, just the two of us, and look at everything there was to see even though those towns didn't offer much. There isn't anything special in this village, and yet you are here and enjoying yourselves. How long have you been together?"

The question is adressed at Haruka, and Makoto is glad that he's being included too. Since he is such a quiet person, people often tend to forget about his presence when talking to them both, and the only one he has conversed with this entire time is Kuma-kun, by dropping pieces of meat onto the ground and smiling a little when the dog gnaws on them happily.

Realizing he's being directly talked to now, he raises his head attentively. "About a year."

"That's quite long for someone your age. Somehow, that makes me more optimistic about my children finding someone they love, even in today's society."

He starts to stare off into the distance, and Makoto focuses more on his food now. Has it really been a year? On one hand, he has known Haruka since what seems like forever, almost no days having passed without them seeing each other. On the other hand, their first kiss could as well have happened yesterday, or the night where Makoto cried for hours, realizing he had fallen for his best friend. Their eyes meet - is Haruka thinking about the same thing? Probably. They don't celebrate monthly anniversaries and no one has ever brought it up. It's the first time it dawns on them. They've been together for almost a year. When they confessed without words, they had only just won the regionals.

* * *

Makoto spends the entire afternoon guiding Haruka through the forest although he has no clue where to go himself, listening to the gurgles of the rivulet to follow it upstream. Eventually they reach the waterfall, a pristine cascade of clear water that sparkles in the leaf-filtered sun, and stare at it for minutes before Haruka dives in, unable to be stopped. Thankfully it's hot outside and Makoto brought a towel to be sure, and so he watches his boyfriend splash around without worries, admiring how the water pearls off his torso when he stands directly beneath the fall.

Evening comes faster than usual.

Makoto discovers that he hasn't worn his festival yukata in a while – it fits a bit tightly, and thanks to his broad shoulders, he can't reach his back.

"Let me help you", Haruka offers, although his own low-cut shirt and shorts – _not_ swimming shorts, surprisingly – are still very visible, and a second later his artist's hands are on Makoto's obi, tying it skillfully.

Makoto returns the favor, the sash soft against his fingers, and he presses his lips against the back of Haruka's head, breathes in the refreshing scent of his hair. He's tempted to stay like this for a while, but the sun is already sinking rapidly and there's a lot to see at the festival before the fireworks begin.

With all the stalls filled and illuminated and the village roaming through the streets, it looks even bigger than yesterday. The smell of fried food dominates the air; Makoto's stomach rumbles quietly and Haruka throws him a small smile. "Let's eat first."

Is it just the tint of the lightbulbs or are his cheeks really that pink?

Haruka drags him along without a touch, steering torwards a snack stall where he orders for them both and pays for neither. They nibble on it while walking, checking out various prizes, but among the giant teddy bears, water guns and roses, Makoto spots nothing that would make a nice personal gift. He tries his luck at the wheel of fortune anyway, the pointer barely wiggling past the jackpot segment, and at the rubber duck fishing.

"What does a red dot mean?", he inquires after turning his yellow little bird around.

"…'s a blank."

"Ah… Well, there's still the raffle…" Makoto puts the duck down and turns torwards the tombola stall.

"You don't need to try every stall, you know."

"Eh, but I want to win something for you. Also, it's fun, I don't mind!"

"If it's fun, I want one too, then." Haruka points at the bowl of tickets.

Makoto buys two small pieces of paper from the enthusiastically smirking young man behind the counter and hands them to the other boy. "Which one do you want?"

"Don't care. …No, blue. The blue one." He takes it slowly, inspecting it as if his luck was written on the outside.

"Let's unwrap them together, alright?", Makoto suggests. "I'll count to three. One, two…" He puts his fingers against the tiny band holding the roll together. "…three."

The ticket unfolds like a man stretching after years of inprisonment, and on it is…

"A blank!", Makoto sighs disappointedly.

Haruka is still staring at his.

"What about you, Haru?"

"…Ten."

"Huh?"

He turns his strip around. The cross-shaped number is written on it in thick ink.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, the stall owner leans himself over the wooden board. "Congrats! You got ten points. That's worth a prize." As if it was a trophy from an overseas hunting trip, he presents the box he just picked up from the floor, full of tiny plastic objects. "You can choose anything from there that you want. Well, only one item, that is! Hahaha!"

Haruka doesn't seem demotivated by the low standard of his reward at all. It doesn't take him long to stop his rummaging and pick up something tiny, so quickly it escapes Makoto's gaze.

"What did you choose?", he asks as they travel away from the stall after thanking the guy inside it, since the firework is drawing closer and they still have quite some food to eat. Haruka's fist is clenched tightly around his prize while he tries to bite his dinner off the small spits in his other hand.

"Not telling you."

"Hm? Why?"

A tiny hint of amusement sparkles in the boy's eyes. "You'll know when I show you, I can't yet."

Makoto understands immediately. Those are the same words he used about a week ago to try to keep his surprise for Haruka hidden. It's a gift. Curiosity tickles the inside of his ribcage.

"Let's eat quickly, then. I have a place I want to go when the fireworks start."

Luckily, both of them finish their meals before they get there. Makoto wipes sauce droplets off Haruka's right hand so he doesn't have to open his left, and their fingers brush against each other's softly. It's not only climbing the steep hill that takes his breath away.

The top isn't empty, a few couples have already assembled there, staring expectantly at the sky or kissing in the more shadowy areas. But it's big, and there's still free space, a bench beneath some tree's twigs, where the view isn't perfect but no curious looks travel.

"Sorry, Haru… I thought we could be alone here, but that might have been a bit too optimistic…"

"It's alright." Haruka's cool hand covers Makoto's. "The stars are nice…"

"You're right. That reminds me… Remember our training camp, last year? The stars were beautiful then, too. And some weeks later, after the prefecturals, during squid festival, we watched the fireworks…"

"Yeah, I remember."

Makoto wants to say something, maybe even something important, but the first exploding skyrocket wipes all of his thoughts away. There's only Haruka beside him and the bright, green light that is immediately replaced by glowing pink, and blinding red, and shimmering gold.

He's a bit surprised that Haruka is quicker with escaping the speechlessness, and that he's picking up his hand and telling him to close his eyes.

Something firm slides over the first half of Makoto's ring finger, then stops abruptly.

"Too small", Haruka mutters.

"H-Haru, what are you doing?", Makoto whispers nervously.

"Marrying you." There's no laugh. "But your finger is too big."

"Eh?"

Makoto's eyelids slowly uncover the sight of a small plastic ring, silver-colored, with a little dolphin on it, being stuck on his hand. It's obviously a children's toy and he's surprised it got any farther than his fingertip.

"I'll try the pinky, then."

If it weren't for the beautiful lights above them, Makoto would feel the need to laugh. But it's so much like Haruka to push the materialistically speaking cheap object onto the last finger of his boyfriend's hand and look so satisfied. There's worth in the movement and in his shy gaze when they look into each other's eyes.

In situations like this, Haruka always becomes so shy. Just like when he attempted to confess to Makoto once, in the middle of the night before the regionals, and then ran out of the room. Back then, neither of them would've dreamed of sitting here like this, tempted to lock lips but bound by the firm leash of society's views.

"I want to kiss you", Makoto finally blurts out, immediately regretting it, although no one heard over the explosions in the sky.

Haruka is still holding his hand when he exhales softly. "Let's head back."

* * *

Makoto tries to be gentle, but they basically crash into each other as soon as their room door swings shut and plop down on the bed, the squeak of the springs resembling a shocked gasp that makes him laugh against Haruka's mouth. Their yukata almost undo themselves as they squirm on the mattress, and Makoto's obi has been tied carefully, yet his underwear is exposed within seconds.

Haruka isn't always this passionate. Demanding, yes, often, and it's nice, because Makoto often lacks the courage to initiate something, but he's not always _this_ passionate, eager to leave Makoto's mouth and move onto his chest instead. A place that didn't use to be so sensitive, so amazingly hot against an accidental scrape of teeth or two, but Haruka turns every inch of his skin into incandescent iron. He's helpless against the lips that will press themselves against a nipple once in a while, even more when they caress his own again, and his own hands on Haruka's back roam without any destination. They find his soft bottom eventually, tenderly playing with the well-toned cheeks, and it seems to inspire him.

"Makoto", Haruka breathes, "you be on top tonight…"

"Mnn… I don't need to…"

Conversation is almost impossible as they turn to fondling again, and this time Haruka's hand sneaks into Makoto's shorts, teasingly staying still there for a while.

"Come on", he whispers again after a few strokes. His voice sounds so amazing in combination with all of the heat, almost discreetly full of arousal; Makoto can feel his head spin. "I want to."

"W-wait, Haru… Let me… Too much…"

Haruka pulls back, allowing him to catch his breath for a few seconds before he wipes his moist eyes and speaks.

"I would, but I didn't bring any… condoms… and inside you, I… that would be too gross for you…"

There's a barely-whistle when Haruka sucks air in through his slightly parted lips.

"No, it wouldn't."

"Still, I can't…"

"Makoto… Please."

"…Alright… Mmh, let me fetch what we need…"

Makoto's muscles are weak with desire as he sits up, and before even touching his bag, he turns on the fan, marveling the cool breeze against his already sweaty skin.

"I only brought a small bottle… Sorry…"

"Shh."

They don't bother tidying up their clothes. Haruka places a pillow beneath himself, wiggling a bit until he reaches a comfortable position, and spreads his legs shamelessly, an awaiting look on his face.

It's hard to keep the pace of his fingers steady – Makoto is torn between his boyfriend's panted encouragements and his own fear that more will hurt him, so he goes slowly, attempting to make it up by rubbing a spot he knows feels good. Haruka's trembling thighs make his stomach do a small flip, his own want turning into another argument, but he won't give in and continues to stretch him gradually.

"I'm ready", Haruka hoarsely whispers after a while.

Makoto leans down to kiss his warm forehead. "Are you sure?"

The impatient noise that follows and the face that accompanies it are a definite 'yes'. Anticipation rolls through Makoto's insides and he's grateful for having to slick himself up – if Haruka did it for him, he would surely lose himself in the touch.

As always when he's in this position (and that's why he prefers other acts, acts that don't leave him worried even afterwards), Haruka's entrance seems too small to receive him, the pressure unbearable, indescribable; it almost unwinds something inside Makoto, yet he manages to catch himself, manages to maintain the softness of his push. And Haruka accepts him readily, almost daring him to proceed with his heated stare.

"Hah… all in…"

There's slippery warmth all around Makoto, and a part of him wants to keep hold of it forever, but his partner grabs strands of his hair, prompting him. The grip is much more pleasurable as it moves, anyway. Haruka is close to him, offering him to melt into him with his kiss. Makoto accepts gladly, thrusting in a lazy rhythm. They're truly one now, moans merging on the tips of their tongues. There's an angry series of knocks against the wall, but Haruka leaves no room for embarrassed consideration, clenches around Makoto tightly, makes him cry out loudly, no hand free to cover his mouth.

"Ah… we should…"

"Nn. No."

Eventually he pulls back a bit, sacrificing their closeness for a better view of Haruka's flushed body and easier access to his cock. Makoto rubs it, timing it with his movements, and it's as if he can see his own lust reflected on his boyfriend's face. He's careful not to chafe him with the plastic that's still on his finger, but even when he accidentally drags it over his sensitive skin, Haruka doesn't notice. Instead, he wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him in deeper, his half-lidded eyes close in bliss when Makoto strokes his hip and moves slightly upwards with his own and he grows harder, slicker between his fingers.

Makoto has trouble not following him and soaking in the sensations surrounded by blackness, he wants to look at Haruka forever, at the beads of perspiration running down his temples, his twisting hands; he wants to hold them, but he's afraid he might squeeze too hard, too intense the overwhelming sensation of nearing his limit.

"Ahh… Haru, I'm already…"

A sharp groan is Haruka's answer, his arms still, fingers drilling into the pillow; Makoto feels his name tumble over his lips again and again, because Haruka is just so gorgeous, so lovely – with a whimper, he pulls out, eyes clenched shut to make the force of his climax endurable, desperately rutting against Haruka's firm underbelly in a struggle to ride it out.

The blood rushing in his ears barely overshadows the chirping of the cicadas. Makoto becomes conscious of the fact he is breathing into Haruka's face. When he scrambles back onto his knees, he sees his still hard cock as well, and the mess on his chest.

Haruka slightly wrinkles his nose. "You stopped."

"Yes, I didn't want to… you know. Sorry…"

"I was so close", he pouts.

Makoto shakes his head, smiling at his own incompetence. Somehow, his cheekbones are tingling and burning with a strange feeling…

It's always like this – he tries to do him a favor and ends up making mistakes. Even though Haruka seems only mildly disappointed, Makoto can't hold himself back, and a tear drips onto his chin with a tiny splat. It's always like this, always…

"…Hey."

Cool hands reach out for his head and thumb over his wet cheeks. Yet again, Makoto is the one selfishly receiving comfort.

"Hey, Makoto."

Haruka's concerned expression only worsens the tightening of Makoto's heart.

"Don't look at me…"

It's truly pathetic – he's burying his face into the mattress, crying and sniffling even though he should be taking care of his boyfriend who is still covered in bodily fluids and now starting to worry on top of that. _Why am I so weak?_ Why can't he withstand the dreadful feeling of being at self-centered fault? Haruka has told him so many times – it's okay to do wrong, it's okay to take care of oneself, and yet, he messes it up and cries and has to be held and nursed back to happiness.

There's the rustling of paper tissues on skin before Haruka's embrace lets him spill his tears into the nape of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Haru… I keep… this trip is not what you wanted… I'm… I can't take care of you… I'm so… such a coward… I'm sorry…"

The hair on the back of his head is being played with, and even though his sobs are shaking his shoulders, Makoto can feel himself slightly calm down.

"Shh. You know… this trip has been really fun. Even though we didn't do much."

"Maybe, but… I wanted to do this to give something back to you… not always be the one taking… But it's not enough, I-I can't give you enough… not by paying things, or by being by your side… in the end you've just taken care of me again…"

"Hm? Give something back?" Haruka's voice is close to his ear. It's remarkable how it deepens when he talks quietly. "You didn't owe me anything. And it's nice to take care of you sometimes, because it's usually the other way around."

Makoto sniffles. "No, but…"

"Yes, it is. Maybe… I don't say it enough."

A small pause, silence broken by Makoto's rapidly beating heart.

"I love you, Makoto. That's why there's no need to give something back, or to take care of me. Spending time with you is nice enough, because I love you. …Huh, you're crying even more?"

"Haru…!"

Makoto looks up and into Haruka's honest gaze – it dissolves the pain inside him rapidly. "Haru, I love you…!"

Their mouths gingerly collide again, even though Makoto's nose is stuffed and he's plagued by a little hiccough, and carefully applied nails are tracing circles on his back. Haruka's half-forgotten hardness comes back to mind when it presses against Makoto's thigh.

The skin on his shoulder still tastes salty, so Makoto slides farther down, not bothering to linger as there's no need to prepare. Haruka is still very stiff after all, his gasp strained when the older boy licks up and down, showering the tip with wet kisses before he takes as much in as he can. Saliva leaks out, since just the thought of pleasuring Haruka makes his mouth water, and runs down the shaft. It makes it easier to use his hand, too, and to elicit the amazing sighs he adores hearing so much, especially when they pick up volume again. Motivated by the knowledge that being stopped in between makes the release so much sweeter (the indirect recollection dyes his ears a bright red, but his body is too exhausted to follow it), Makoto sucks with determination, even when his jaw starts cramping from the effort. It's nothing compared to Haruka's hot come spilling into him, after all, and the pleased curling of his toes, and the arch of his spine, and his barely visible smile full of warmth.

They quickly wash each other's bodies with the icy water out of the hose, so it's even more comfortable to slip beneath the covers and enter reassuringly similar worlds of dreams, and during all of that, their afterglow is heavy with the fragrance of cedar wood.

* * *

Makoto says words of goodbye to Ueno in the morning, while Haruka does the same to Kuma-kun, and promises that they will visit again some time, much to the disapproval of the couple next door whose grossed out grimaces are invisible under the strange circles the blinding sun creates.

On Monday, Nagisa almost cries from unsatisfied curiosity, but Rei tells him to leave them alone already. "They're clearly still in a mood similar to what occurs post-honeymoon."

"Yay, you're right, Rei-chan! It's like they're properly married now! In that case, I need to know _everything_! Come ooon, Haru-chan, don't be such a buzzkill!~" Clinging to Haruka's arm, he shakes him roughly. "Tell meee!"

Makoto, the only one of them who hasn't changed into his swimwear yet, takes the plastic ring off his pinky and smiles.


End file.
